I actually really love your blog. It's a favorite of mine. I've been reading it for quite a while now and am very happy you've begun posting again. I just had a question about technique. I tried going through the archives but I was thinking that you had written about what differentiates a novice from a master at giving a blow job. You mention even in your latest post about enthusasium but lacking in technique... how does one learn to give a better blow job in your opinion? It's something I've always wanted to perfect. Thanks!
Thanks for the question. I wrote a story that got picked up by Fleshbot awhile ago called "One of the greats" which is one take about how to give a really good blow job. It also reminds me that I should tell more stories about Joan, because she was awesome. But yeah, listen to what Joan said. She's smart. If you're more of a visual learner, I highly recommend watching Belladonna perform. And two more tips that I can give that I've read when other people have asked this question is to familiarize yourself with the anatomy of the penis. There are many different parts, and understanding them will help you better understand how to make them happy. And another one I heard was that the best thing that a mouth can do is feel like a vagina, because part of vaginal design is to make penises feel good. Food for thought.
Maybe you can explain this to my drunken self.
Why do men (granted we're not speaking about all men here, just some men who I seem to often find myself acquainted with) who know you from class/work/frequent social situations dance with women (okay, really just me) in a repetitive fashion and send off grind-happy signals that they want to sleep with you that night?
Normally, I'm totally down for such psuedo-adventures. But of the people who I've slept with from class who I then have to see, most of them act way too awkward for it to be remotely worth it. Especially given the alcohol lubricated situation wherein the chances of erectile disappointment are increased. Now I'm so jaded by the whole hooking up with people I'm forced to interact with every week because my biggest pet peeve is awkwardness after sex. Can't deal with it.
Sorry, I just had to rant and for some reason felt like doing so to you via email.
Quick continuation...gaaaah I can't stand when they insist on not really swing dancing but attempting to with various spin turns IN A CLUB. It just doesn't work. They think they're being classy, but they just aren't. It's annoying to the people around us who have to get elbowed in the back and annoying to me who would rather break it down in an individual fashion. He couldn't keep up with me. At all. And it's cute when they try, but he just couldn't. Which ends up being a big turn off. He yelled into my ear, "Sorry I'm not as good of a dancer as you!" Nope, self-deprecation does not equate confidence. I guess my standards are too high in a club atmosphere since I'm used to be constantly eyed and pointed at and gawked at, but I'm also used to constantly turning guys down who cramp my ability to move. And just want to grind on my ass. Save that for last call buddy. Usually I have the opportunity of more choice than that, but when the guy you know latches onto you once you walk in, it's so hard to effectively shake him while also being polite since I can't be a bitch because I know him and generally find him to be a nice person.
I hope you get a kick out of this, I'm sure I will too when I read it in the morning. Ah well. So it goes. I love being foolish.
And of course he was quite hot. Ugh. Probably the right choice though. We have waaaaay too many mutual friends.
Journeys of female psyche.
I was on the fence about bringing Ask Dave back from the dead when I received the first question, but was absolutely positive I wanted to when I got this past one. Not necessarily because I thought I could be of much use here, more that I thought it'd be really entertaining.
So let's dive in, shall we?
As best as I can understand, the base question is "Why do guys grind against you while dancing as a signal that they want to sleep with you?" My guess here, and I don't know these guys so I'm not exactly sure, is probably that they are too scared to ask you. Putting it all out there, when rejection is a very real outcome is tough. However, grinding their cock against your ass while dancing is a sort of socially acceptable way of doing the same thing, but non-verbally. If you were into the guy, you'd probably grind back at him, thus signaling that there could be some grinding sans-pants if things go right. And if you're not into him, you can just go away, which is a lot easier for many guys to deal with.
If you want to talk about dancing styles in clubs however, I am unfortunately the wrong guy to talk to. My personal style is somewhere between the guy in the red pants (appropriately named Spaz Attack) in Devo's Satisfaction video, and how Flans and Linnell dance during the chorus of They Might Be Giants' Ana Ng video. In my own defense however, I dance because music makes me feel a certain way and I wan to express it through dance. If I were to meet a girl because she feels the same way about the music as I do, that's great. Or if she likes the fact that I am free and unbridled in my movement, even better. But I suspect you would not be amused nor enticed.
And my last bit of advice for now is this... Life is short. Fuck the hot guy.
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